I had a hard time choosing a title today. Others I was considering:
"Self-Banned From Michael's"
"The Mystery of the Missing Poo"
"Evan, I Still Love You"
My story today is surprizingly similar to
Beebe's story of a week ago. Go ahead and re-read it. Then come back and compare.
The blondies and I had a few minutes to run an errand this afternoon while the big boys were at piano lessons. I needed 3 pieces of cardstock to finish some scrapbooking I started this morning. Just enough time to run into
Michael's and grab it. Evan gets in the shopping basket. Edie says she won't touch anything if I let her walk.
Of course anytime we're on any kind of schedule, Evan needs a diaper change. He's talented like that. I'm not too worried 'cause I found what I needed super fast. I put my papers in the basket as I take Evan out and we head into the bathroom to one of those diaper change things on the wall. This is when I get my first clue that things have gone terribly wrong.
My arm has brown goo on it. So does my shirt. What is that? Oh. Yuck.
Apparently the diaper wasn't on, just kind of hanging around one leg. Poop is everywhere on Evan from the waist down, except in the diaper, especially on the bottom of his feet. His clothes are covered. I have with me a total of four wipes. That cleans up his bum, but nothing else. I put on the clean diaper and then take him out and give him a mini bath in the sink. (I'm very grateful no one else has walked in at this point!) I have no clean clothes for him, so we have to go out into the store with a naked-except-for-a-diaper baby. Talk about PWT.
For some reason, I decided to purchase my papers anyway. I really wish I had thought that one through for a split second.
I'm holding Evan in front of me, to hide the poo smears, and moving quickly because I'm embarassed he has no clothes on. A cashier is open and waiting for me as I walk up. I'm glad I won't have to stand in line. I toss my papers up onto the counter for the guy to ring them up and start to turn to reach for my wallet. But I see a horrible sight. Poo smears on the counter where the papers slid across a little bit. I stare at it for a whole second as the guy reaches for it slowly and picks them up by the corner closest to him. Apparently the poo that didn't go in the diaper went into the basket and I put the papers on it and then
slid them to the cashier.
He slowly says, "I'll be right back" and walks away. He comes back with cleaning spray and paper towels. The whole time I'm trying not to look at the line of people waiting to check out while fighting the urge to run out the door. I help him clean up his counter and I pay for the poopy papers, throw them away and
then run out the door.
I was a few minutes late getting the boys from piano lessons. I hope their teacher understands.